Family Feud,Harry Potter Style
by darkprincess1390
Summary: A rousing game of Family Feud
1. Default Chapter

A/N-Okie dokies, this is my second fic, I wrote this while I was supposed to be doing homework.Hehehehe.This is gonna be a crappy fic so just sit back, relax, and have some peanut butter. I really don't mind flames; they make me laugh, so do that as much as you like. Im just laughing at you. But if you do have the niceness to say something nice the do it..  
  
  
  
I am the host, so just get over it already. Ash = me, no not the pokemon ash but Ashley, im just too lazy to keep writing that every time.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothin in this fic If I did, it wouldn't be this shit *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Family Feud, Harry Potter Style  
  
Chapter One-"Stop Choking On Drugged Water!"  
  
Ash: Okay welcome to the Family Feud!!Well.in this case they're not really families..but..Oh shit who cares.Okay, I am your wonderful, beautiful, talented, charasimitic..  
  
Random critic:Don't forget conceited!  
  
Ash: :: starts throwing tomatoes at the person::You..will talk..when.I.say.you.can..talk!  
  
Critic: ::cowers::  
  
Ash: Okay now that we have every one quiet.::eyes wander over to critic:: I , Ashley, will tell you the teams. They are as follows, On the Marshmallow team is Voldermort, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and Snape. On the Powerpuff team is Crabbe, Draco, Fred, George, and Harry.Ok, assuming you all know how to play, not that I care much if you don't.:: smiling gleefully::So now I am going to go around the room and ask you to give your name and all that shit. But first, since I am soooooooo nice, heres some water.  
  
The bodyguards pass out the water.  
  
Ash: at a 10% discount of course. Oh and also, theres a little veritaserum in it, ya no, just to be sure.  
  
All: ::choking on drugged water::  
  
Ash: Okay then, we are going to start with the Marshmallow team. Ron you can start because you're the only cool person on the team. Go ahead  
  
Ron: :still choking on drugged water.:: Umm.Okay,I live in the crappy country of England,America is much better,I have red hair. I have 5 brothers and one sister who is friends with that idiot,:: points to hermione::my two hidden secrets is to kill Hermione and my favorite color is red.  
  
Hermione-:: Oh Ron,::sobbing::How could you! Ash: Oh no, you are not running away you prissy little bitach! Security!  
  
The security men strap her up in a white straightjacket and she sits there looking dazed.  
  
Ash: ::grinning eviley:: Okay,Hermione,your turn.  
  
Hermione: I am a prissy know it all bitch. I talk too much and aggravate any one who comes with in ten yards of me. I need to learn to shut up and to become a monk. I often have fantasies about Ginny Weasly.  
  
Ginny: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!::moves away from hermione::  
  
Ash: Okay, moving on, next we have Snape.  
  
Snape: Oh, ok, like I like never wash my hair. Ummm and I like pink fuzzy slippers with ittle bunny rabbits on them. I have never had a girlfriend ,and you can probably see why.  
  
Ash:That was,ummmm,very interesting .Now, next we have Voldermort,the evil lord himself.  
  
Voldermort:thank you so much ashley.I am ver evil as you see.MUHAWWWWW.I am now going to eat liver and blow up the earth.  
  
Ash:oh that got us so far.And last and one of the least,Ginny.  
  
Ginny: ::still trembling in fear::Uhhhhhh..  
  
Ash:Uhh is the capital of Duh which you seem to be the mayor of.  
  
Ginny:Im in love with CRABBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::covers mouth with hand::  
  
Hermione:Omigosh  
  
Ron:Ginny you traitor  
  
Snape: Does this mascara bring out my eyes.  
  
Ash:ORDER IN THE COURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!!  
  
All: ::silence,you can hear crickets chirping::  
  
Ash:Thank you.Now moving on to the Powerpuff team.Draco,you get to go first just because your cool.  
  
Draco:Ok.. that's nice.Now.Lets see.I am evil,but I espically hate potter and company.I am a bit scared by Ashley,she seems like a stalker-  
  
Ash:HEY!  
  
Draco:And I am extremely good-looking and am the best looking guy at Hogwarts.  
  
Ash:A little conceited,isnt he?  
  
Harry: ::mutters:: Hypocrite  
  
Ash: AAAAIEEEEEE!:: starts throwing tomatoes at Harry::Ok im done. Nextly, we have Fred.  
  
Fred: Hello, I am Fred, I enjoy making people embarassed. I have ? brothers and I hope little ronniekins is ok. I can't count very well but I do read right on grade level  
  
Ash: ::dully:: That's nice.now George,\  
  
George: Hello, I am George, I enjoy making people embarassed. I have ? brothers and I hope little ronniekins is ok. I can't count very well but I do read right on grade level  
  
Ash: :: snoring::Huh??What? ::jerks awake:: What happened. O ok now that Barney is over..  
  
Hermione: Excuse me Ashley I don't think-  
  
Ash: EXCUSE ME BITCH! YOU DO NOT SPEAK OUT OF LINE TO ME!!U ASK IF YOU CAN TALK!  
  
Draco: Ashley, I think the bitch was trying to say that you were in the middle of Family Feud, not Barney.  
  
Ash: Thank you Darling  
  
Draco: ::shudder::  
  
Hermione: He didn't ask if he could talk!!!!!!  
  
Ash-Okay, listen bitch, #1he doesn't have to ask because he is cool, and #2 YOU JUST SPOKE OUT OF LINE AGAIN!!!!!I TOLD YOU NOT TO!!  
  
Hermione: ::cowers::  
  
Ash: ::smiles::Okay moving on. Ummm.Crabbe.Lets hear your 'o so wonderful' life story.  
  
Crabbe: :: drool hanging out of mouth::Duuuuuuuuuuhhh.  
  
Ash: That was nice. And last and least Harry.  
  
Harry: ::smiles warmly and 'fans':: Ok, so you want to get to know me, moi,the real Harry Pottet,first when was a small baby-  
  
Ash: Okay then that's enough  
  
Harry: But I didn't get-  
  
Ash: and? Now that we have introduced all of our wonderful players, it is time to get on with the game, or it would be time to get on with the game if I could think better but I cant so you will have to wait.  
  
A/n-I need ideas! and the whole 'Uhh is the capital of Duh which you seem to be the mayor of.' I stole from that's so raven. If you would like for me to be very happy and would like for me not to have to kill you, then you would have to review. So you better review review review!!(OR ELSE) 


	2. Queen of evil

A/N-Ok I am aware that I haven't updated for such a looooooong time. Thanks to all my reviewers. I only got one flame; thenk you Professura_Dumbledora for Ur o so nice comment it made me feel so special.  
  
As you all may realize, I am not quite fond of hermione. If you like her, no offence to you but she annoys the hell out of me. So don't take anything personally.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this fic if I did, it wouldn't be this shit *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*  
  
Ash: WeLcOmE bAcK tO fAmIlY fEuD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!After that verrry long gap in which I couldn't have thought of anything I finally thought of something (A/N -if you could understand that u are insane like me.) Now will Crabbe and Voldermort please stand up, please stand up, please stand up. Uh-oh to much radio.  
  
Crabbe and Voldermort: ::step up to middle of room.::  
  
Ash: We have surveyed 100 people and the top 6 answers are on the board. Okay, now for the question, Name the top six evil and scariest people in the world.  
  
Crabbe: :: slams buzzer with forhead.:: Uhhhh..pizza?  
  
Ash: :: ponders:: Hmmmm.lemme think about that.NO!Now Voldermort gets to go.  
  
Voldermort: Well Ashley, unless I am mistaken I would expect myself to be the most evil person. Ever since I was a young lad..  
  
Ash: Is this going anywhere?  
  
Voldermort: OH..yes. My answer is Voldermort.  
  
Ash: Okay, lets see if it's on the board. ::Turns over one part of board revealing Voldermort as #6 with 2 votes::  
  
Voldermort: :: crying::NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO how can this be!!I thought I was the most feared.how-  
  
Ash-shut up you big sissy. Pass or Play?  
  
Voldermort: Play, of course.  
  
Ginny: Okay it's my turn?  
  
Ash: yes, and u just wasted 4 of the 10 seconds you have.  
  
Ginny: Ummm.Ummm  
  
Ash: ::singing jeopardy music:: na na na na,na na na, na na na na NA, na na na na na. Okay times up whats your answer. Ginny: You!  
  
Ash: You who?  
  
Ginny: You know who you.  
  
Ash: You know who, You know you who?  
  
Voldemort: sounds like their talking about me  
  
Ashley: Who you know who you two deja-vous?  
  
Voldermort: For christs' sakes, Ashley she means you!  
  
Ash: You who?  
  
Voldermort: ::rolls eyes:: O god  
  
3 hours later  
  
Ash: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo I get it!!!!  
  
Ginny: took long enough  
  
Ash: ::menacingly::do..i.have.to..start.throwing..tomatoes?  
  
Ginny: ::cowering::  
  
Ash: Gee, I have that effect on lots of people. Okay lets see.. ::Turns over one part of board revealing Ashley as #1 with 57 votes:: :::smiles:: I win! So far, The marsh mellow team has 59 points!! Now Ron it's your turn.  
  
Ron: ::has been sleeping this whole time:: Huh? what was the question?  
  
Ash: ::very pissed off:: Name the top six evil and scariest people in the world.  
  
Ron: Oh, okay. Ummm..  
  
Ash: 4 seconds  
  
Ron: Justin Timberlake?  
  
Ash: ::ponders:: Hmmmm.lemme think about that.NO! He is pretty scary though but it is still wrong. You have 1 strike. Now its ::shivers:: the bitches turn.  
  
Hermione :: I resent that!  
  
Ash: ::perky voice:: And like! I don't care!::end perky voice:: Okay answer  
  
Hermione: Okay,I am going to say cats??  
  
Ash: ::perky voice again:: like, how about no!::end perky:: Your pitiful team now has two strikes. Now we have Snape.  
  
Snape: Do you think this nail polish matches?  
  
Ash: ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!!!!!  
  
Snape: Okay, when you fake eyelashes are different sizes.  
  
Ash: ::monotone:: Now I really wonder if that's up there. Guess not. That is your teams third strike! Now onto the powerpuff team. If they can get 1 answer they steal the points. Draco you first.  
  
Random critic: We really didn't see that coming.  
  
Ash: AIEEEEEEEEEEEE:: throws tomatoes:: Okay do you have an answer.  
  
Draco: For some reason there is a voice that sounds like you saying to say Emma Watson, I have no idea who that is but Im just goin to got with that.  
  
Ash: And..::Turns over one part of board revealing Emma Watson as #2 with 22 votes:: YOUR RIGHT!! Now you team has 81 points!!! Now for the rest of the answers, #3,  
  
Scary Audience who somehow know when to talk: Parents!  
  
Ash: #4  
  
Scary Audience who somehow know when to talk: Keith guy on American Idol!  
  
Ash: #5  
  
Scary Audience who somehow know when to talk: Michael Jackson  
  
Ash: So now we have the marshmallow team with 0 points and the powerpuff team with 81 points!! Come back next time for more family feud!!  
  
A/N-I have nothing against Michael Jackson but he is looking kinda freaky lately. I want more than 10 reviews before I continue!!!bye! 


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